work? why the hell would i want to do that?

I've decided that I don't want a job. That's not to say that I want to sit on my ass all the time and do nothing (although I do sometimes have that dream). There are lots of things I want to do. But, very few of them involve getting paid... as a matter of fact, I'd rather not get paid for most of them. It's not that I don't want the money. I just don't want the freedom of my actions restricted by a job description. For example, I'd love to do sociological research within immigrant and refugee communities. I'd like to continue working within refugee communities, period. But I don't want to be tied and bound and obligated and pressured by what I'm being paid to do and what I'm not.
And, I am absolutely unexcited by the idea of working every day and each week looking forward to the weekend when I can have "my time." I mentioned this to my mother, and she said something like, "well, working all week makes you appreciate your freedom more on the weekends." shoot me now. my freedom? that's what I don't want... to be bound to something in which I don't feel free, with the exception of 60 hours each week (starting Friday evening). And everyone knows its not really 60 hours, because by 4PM on Sunday you're dreading and preparing for the following morning, when the whole routine begins again. So really, its only 48 hours that are "yours," 48 hours of complete liberation before you once again have to play the game to prove that you are, in fact, worthy to continue living. And all because they locked up the food. (don't ask. if you really want to know, read My Ishmael by Daniel Quinn. Seriously. read it.)



Okay, okay, that's a total downer, I know. I will concede that some people do manage to find something that they love, for which they can get paid, and they are thrilled to begin each week anew because it's just so damn rewarding and fulfilling. And I don't doubt that I will have that, because I won't have anything less; I simply refuse. What bugs me is that I have to worry about getting paid for it. I want to serve my community, teach ESL, work in refugee camps, make the world a better place. Can't I be left alone to do that and not have to stress over how I will eat at the end of the day?